Friday, September 30, 2005
burnt - like a prayer by rufio
well well well everything still sucks so i guess nothing has really changed much.
today is relatively boring.
stayed up till 5am studying but i was on the phone half the time but i did get some work done. I think at this pace, i wont be able to cover the topics i need to study for social studies in time. fuck it
stayed at the holiday inn today and I will be until the exams end. My mother said that it'll give her some peace of mind but what she doesn't know it's actually its giving me peace of mind.
everythings wrong today.
feel so seperated from the world. I didn't receive much calls or smses today. Practically NOBODY talked or replied to me on MSN. I refuse to believe that MSN is cocking up on me again. Friendster sucks cos it keeps lagging. My edits don't appear, my VIDEO IS GONE bye bye atreyu. fuck. Blogger is not any better. My entry space became so fucking small that i have to enter "" and stuff. so annoying and i'm getting pissed.
well, the fucker he is being a bitch. i wouldn't have thought he was exactly like the rest of them. all fuckers. i'm just gonna leave him alone. by girls liking you somehow has boosted your ego. i hate egoist so fuck off really. no cannot! you have something of mine! so not yet. there may be a slight chance reducing your over-grown head back down to size. so sorry, guess i'm not the one to help since we're no longer speaking! FUCKER
so sorry there's no colour in this entry since blogger is fucked up
CHEERS
_just me_
5:11 AM
burnt - like a prayer by rufio
well well well everything still sucks so i guess nothing has really changed much.
today is relatively boring.
stayed up till 5am studying but i was on the phone half the time but i did get some work done. I think at this pace, i wont be able to cover the topics i need to study for social studies in time. fuck it
stayed at the holiday inn today and I will be until the exams end. My mother said that it'll give her some peace of mind but what she doesn't know it's actually its giving me peace of mind.
everythings wrong today.
feel so seperated from the world. I didn't receive much calls or smses today. Practically NOBODY talked or replied to me on MSN. I refuse to believe that MSN is cocking up on me again. Friendster sucks cos it keeps lagging. My edits don't appear, my VIDEO IS GONE bye bye atreyu. fuck. Blogger is not any better. My entry space became so fucking small that i have to enter "" and stuff. so annoying and i'm getting pissed.
well, the fucker he is being a bitch. i wouldn't have thought he was exactly like the rest of them. all fuckers. i'm just gonna leave him alone. by girls liking you somehow has boosted your ego. i hate egoist so fuck off really. no cannot! you have something of mine! so not yet. there may be a slight chance reducing your over-grown head back down to size. so sorry, guess i'm not the one to help since we're no longer speaking! FUCKER
so sorry there's no colour in this entry since blogger is fucked up
CHEERS
_just me_
4:54 AM
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
burnt - who i am hates who i've been by relient k
MY GOD! okay fine i just visited this retarded band blog.
basically, its like this band who is not popular or well liked has a band blog. WHY??? well i don't know. they think they're really pro and better than anyone else. i mean why have a band blog when you're not even that good la. i'm not saying that my band is damn good cos my band doesn't have a band blog. stupid pissnits.
-----------------------------------------------*
on another note,
i like his smell.
i know its weird la but he smells of soap? haha. i'm sucha perv and i think he'll hate me if he find out i'm sorta smelling him. haha gross la. well, maybe he's just a clean fellow? so i guess thats good.
i'm still kinda pissed about the whole thing. i just wish things would go back to normal. the way it was. i was watching girl, interrupted just now and kept turning over my phone to see if i've received any sms from you but obviously not. kinda sucks la.. the feeling i mean. can take it la if not, i would not be strong and mighty princess alex right?
without you i equal nothing
_just me_
12:57 PM
Monday, September 26, 2005
burnt - of all the gin joints of all the world by fall out boy
i don't know what to blog about.
today???
okay i went home early cos i kena gastric. felt like vometting man so sick but after that it was okay. actually i didnt need to go home la. all i needed was to eat. so well, my mother came to pick me up and she brought me to eat but i couldn't. don't know why. after that, i just felt like vometting all the way home.
yesterday?
well, went to macs.. wait actually that was saturday. i actually got alot done even with wilson's constant chain of annoying rubbish. so all in all, it was fun and quite productive on my part. it was fun too!
well for tomorrow, there's english exam. so yea! FINALS! WOO HOO! one down and several more to go! i just pray that i'll do well enough to reach my aunty's standards and get the thing that i've wanted for long time!!! my insentive to pass. then it'll be esplanade in december. exciting la. cant wait but i must not let this distract me from my studies
on another note,
i'm giving up and i know you wont believe me cos i think i've said it one too many times before. oh well, too late now.
off all the gin joints of the world
You only hold me up like this
Cause you don't know who I really am
Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you
We're making out inside crashed cars
We're sleeping through all our memories
I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive (now I only waste it dreaming of you)
Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness
Cause all of our moves make up for the silence
And oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase
Like I'll never be the same
You only hold me up like this
Cause you don't know who I really am
I used to waste my time on
Waste my time on
Waste my time dreaming of being alive (now I only waste it dreaming of you)
Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness
Cause all of our moves make up for the silence
And oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase
Like I'll never be the same
I've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you, no
I've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you, no
I'm not trying
You only hold me up like this
Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness
Cause all of our moves make up for the silence
And oh, the way your makeup stains
Like I'll never be the same
_just me_
4:13 AM
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
burnt - suddenly everythings changed by bethany joy lenz
heard this song on one tree hill today and its kinda stuck in my head.
well, its o242 and i'm up and i haven't finished my work
do you know why???
because Alex is/or a nig procrastinator and a lazy ass. i mean 2 days off from school and practically nothing is done. I didn't even finish my tuition homework. Shivali is gonna kill me tomorrow and i'll never see the light of day! okay maybe that was abit dramatized but nonetheless, she's still gonna scold me.
Mr Chang has officially gone bonkers okay. i mean WHY SO MANY PAGES OF PHYSICS! i swear he wanted to kill us but i think he was just waiting for the right moment.
Exams are drawing near and i'm freaking nervous. i've been trying to work hard but its really tough. i have the nature of a lazy bum and i'm trying to break that habit. I am quite excited for the finals cos its the end of school then i'll be able to make my decision. to continue school or private candidate. i just hope i actually have the choice to make. i'm just gonna do my best for the papers and put what Shivali has thought me to good use and just work hard until the papers come.
i'm still procrastinating as my physics will not get done on its own eventhough i wish it did but still, no pain no gain right? hehh.
_just me_
11:41 AM
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
burnt - rest in pieces by saliva
heyoo!
i did not go to school today. well, i have no reason for not going but i still went to the doctor and got 2 day MC so yea. HOORAY! yea yea yea!
so today, woke up ard 2 and headed to the polyclinic to take MC. wasted about 1hr 45 mins of my life waiting for the doctor but it was worth it
Xanne told the leprechaun boy he was the leprechaun boy. I knew he suspected it so yea. hurr hurr.
wish i could tell him also but its just too bad cos he's starting to piss me off and i didnt want our relationship friendship to become like this but i guess i'm blaming you. hehh. and i am taking some of the blame for not telling you earlier. maybe it could have changed things? NAHH. then i would have just been kidding myself. i tend to do that sometimes.. OKAY fine. most of the time (:
so i guess tmr, i'm gonna spend the whole day studying since nobody's at home. yea yea yea. should be condusive unless all the freaks decide to stay home tmr.
i have a sudden liking for franz ferdinand pants cos i'm watching a video by them and they look quite good i might say.
okay i guess thats it. this entry lacks emotion whats to ever.
before i go, i'll leave you with just one question for you to ponder on...
what's up with guys and gothic girls????
think about it
_just me_
11:59 AM
Monday, September 19, 2005
burnt - angels by within temptation
i'm awake now, so why not blog?
well, today was okay. i miss my friends. i miss hanging with them but i guess this was the best thing for everyone. i have good friends like shyan, shangari and cheryl. they helped me get through the day today. love them loads.
I ATE MOONCAKE!
my first time okay. and its nice eh but i still find the egg disgusting though.
i cant wait for saturday la. i'm like jumping up and down in my seat. i'm freaking excited la! AHHHHHH! we're gonna study like shit man! from 10.30pm to 6.30am. i think we'll survive. right phlemm??? aren't we nocturnal? yes yes with macdonalds to our rescue, we'll be fine. did i tell you that there was a guy that looked like Gurmit Singh??? poor fellow. wonder what his mother looks like? hehh..
so my brother/sister is not going to school tmr and so i wont go too. its gonna be a study day for me tmr and i promise to get up as early as possible. yea yea yea. my tutor wrote out a study timetable for me which i am actually gonna follow it.
I see the angels,
I'll lead them to your door
There's no escape now
no mercy no more
No remorse cause I still remember
the smile when you tore me apart
_just me_
11:42 AM
Sunday, September 18, 2005
burnt - hammers and hearts by daphne loves derby
might as well update since my entries are in urgent need of emotion.
i'm sad. sad sad sad
and dont think its about the clique thing la.
this entry is about a certain someone who's there, but not quite there
i'm sad. and its your fault so i guess i'm blaming you indirectly and i know its quite mean cos you didnt really do anything. its just your exsistance. your just there for me to get jealous or angry or even depressed. I find that quite schocking cos this is a stupid reason to get depressed over but thank you lucky stars i'm not type or person who slits their wrist and cries for days. thank you lucky stars i'm the kind that hides my emotions and only vends it out to my good friends and luckily they're the kind that just laughs at me and then i'll realise how stupid i am to actually be depressed over this kinda thing. well, i cant stop girls from flying at you left, right and center right???? unless i decide to play skeet shooting and start shooting them before you notice that they're coming at your face. oh well, what can i do right? i'm not your type, colour, shape and what you can call a girlfriend. MAN. i'm making myself sound pathetic but i dont care la. let this be a lesson in life for me, that i shouldn't do all the chasing as it gets me nowhere and leaves me tired. but i do enjoy seeing you and i'll miss the times we did. so yea. too bad. so sad. woo hoo. alex is dumb and pathetic. i'm WAYY out of your league and i shall leave it at that. i'll try to stop chasing (kejar-kejar) but somehow i dont think its possible.
20 hours deep
it was enough time to see that everything has changed for me
so much for birthday wishes
ive been too busy with my memories you made me
i dont think ill get over it
to be honest i cant see how this could be fair
im so alone but you seem to be just fine
dont ask me to think
good intentions wont change everything
this could be the last day i hold my breath
and stay and wait for you
20 hours deep
oh, it was enough time for you to change everything for me
20 hours deep
i'm drowning myself with thoughts of you and you're comforting
tell me how this is fair
dont ask me to think
good intentions wont change everything
this could be the last day i hold my breath
and stay and wait for you
stay away ..
stay away ..
dont ask me to think
good intentions wont change everything
this could be the last day that ii'll hold my breath and wait for you
dont ask me to think
good intentions wont change everything
this could be the last day i hold my breath and wait for you
stay away
good intentions won't change anything
yeah i'll hold my breath and wait for you
_just me_
9:33 AM
burnt - beside me by forty foot echo
friends are dicks. at least some are not. i only have 3 VERY VERY VERY good friends and i thank God for them la. man i do miss them.
exams are coming and i want school to be over really badly. i may be stopping school this year and do private. i think i need it la. break away from this "clique" no offence to anyone on particular, but i hate cliques. the moment you call a group of friends a clique sure will have problems. i dont know la. i'm leaving it as that. so i'm a liar and i'm irresponsible and blah blah. well, there is a reason that i lie is that if i tell you the truth, you will be too childsh to handle it anyway. thats whats bugging me. the hate between all of us is imense so therefore, i'll be the one to make the first move. so yea.
fuck you, fuck care and goodnight
anyways, this morning was awesome! my first time sneaking out and i got caught. but none the less, it was fun. adrenalline pumping i might say. hurr hurr. i went macs to study at 3 am with wilson. there was alot of students there studying. so cool la.. really it was. but i wont sneak out again since i got caught. i'll tell her before i go next time. yup yup.
okay my brother is mopping the floor so i gotta go disturb him
_just me_
4:20 AM
Friday, September 09, 2005
burnt - so hate consequences by relient k
got up at 1pm today and the tutor came into the room while i was sleeping. oh well, guess she does that all the time. hehh.
ytd was quite amusing la. loan shark boy and lava girl. so to me, the show was kinda retarded. i mean the glasses were cool and all, but the whole show was like in blue and red. kena headache after that la. the show was meant for children la cos i kept laughing at the sad parts so yea. but i wouldn't watch it if i were you. and please don't watch it to get the cool glasses okay.
after that headed for dinner. went to billy bombers and ordered too much. century square was bloody madness yesterday i tell you. it was some kinda ladies night thing and only women were allowed to get into the shopping center. pfffffffffffffffffffft. utter rubbish la.
reached home, called Xanne and talked until 4.3oam! yay!
heart pain la, heart pain. really it is. i think cupid's a bastard. like where the hell is he sticking up his arrows huh? wrong place, wrong time! people got exams coming you know! school starting know! wtf la you cupid! hehh..
_just me_
10:16 PM
Thursday, September 08, 2005
burnt - over it by rufio
today is shit
okay maybe the night was shit.
but its still shit.
okay maybe only just now was shit.
yea just now.
its shit. everythings shit.
i know its like just a small matter and maybe i'm over-reacting or whatever but i still feel.. like shit but it doesn't matter does it? cos he doesn't give a damn. but its not his fault. i only blame her freaking whore. fat ass.
today was quite alright.
overbearing aunty: how was the library?
me: great! studied history.
overbearing aunty: good
if i only could speak the truth
overbearing aunty: how was the library?
me: i didnt go cos i went to watch pple jam. please dont ask who cos its none of your business please so shut up and go fuck a spider
overbearing aunty: GOOD
hehh, yes i went to wee lee instead of the library. SO????? it was fun overall. wilson's a pro, ben's a pro, roxanne's a pro and i just suck. tried to play buried a lie and unholy confessions. but i still suck. yea yea yea i suck.
okay so today started out great and ended like PJJJJT i know how to spell PJJJT ain't it cool! hoo hoo! i'm joining BSF. i have to forget this fella la. out of my bloody leauge or maybe just blocked by a fucking whore another girl.
tmr, i'm gonna watch loan shark and lava girl tomorrow with phlemm. hopefully it can cheer me up abit. no more boys for me. not saying i'm a lesbian :)
_just me_
9:28 AM
Sunday, September 04, 2005
burnt - B.Y.O.B by system of a down
this song is really funny shit la.
LALALALALALALALA oooooooh!
Was supposed to go to church for mass at 445 pm but decided to head to TP library to finish up my math TYS questions. Reached there abt 4.30pm.. went to some village part of TP to find roxanne who was actually ahead of me??? confusing la. i dont get myself. anyways, went to the 3rd floor, found wilson and his friend. there was no place so roxanne and i had to sit on the floor but it wasn't all that uncomfortable.. for me la but roxanne was wearing a skirt. luckily i lent her my jacket to cover.
so did my math then went to the kopitiam to eat. there was this pondan who was working at banquet and i didnt know it was a man. okay fine i just thought she was a damn ugly lady. hurr hurr. well, i ate bee hoon that tasted of vomet to me. maybe cos i wasn't hungry. well, after that went back up to continue doing work. we managed to find a table which made no difference whatsoever since the bloody chair was so far away from the table. so i ended up with my legs on the chair.
roxanne and i left around 8plus and took a cab to church. today was st pius feast day. AS$O and i stood there amongst the crowd waiting for the place to suddenly incinerate on its own. like that will ever happen. saw a whole lot of pple. met branson and i'm still shorter than him. after the crowd went up to the verbist for i-dont-know-what, sat with roxanne downstairs awaiting leon's call which he didnt after all. then roxanne left and i was left downstairs wating for the princess to be done with his "party" so i just listened to my MP3 and did malay homework. YIPPEE
after that went to 711 and headed home.
i need to get new pants.
mine are stupid.
double pedalling is not like running
i want to buy clothes.
i need to see him
i think :)
_just me_
4:16 AM
Thursday, September 01, 2005
burnt - reinventing your exit by underoath
today's seriously fucked.
woke up today with a blocked nose and a splitting headache. was supposed to go to the library but since i'm sick, roxanne's sick, wilson's sick so we didnt go but wilson went.
i dunno la. i'm so uncertain. looking back at life, makes me feel damn sad that i'm held back by a year. i feel so sad that my friends are graduating this year or next year. the fact that i'm not gonna experience poly or JC life just kills me. i'm still trying but something just makes me wanna stop schooling next year and start applying for overseas education but now the thought of leaving everyone behind kills me even more. well life stinks. but i've gotta hand it to myself cos i make people think that my life rules. actually i'm just a really good liar. i hide my problems and thats damn sad. if i let it out, people will find it annoying. so i'll just shut up for now and let my blog do the talking. the vender?
up against the wall.
shivali didn't show up. so i guess she cant get her present. too bad.
so we're jamming again probably next week. not 3 hrs please unless you want all of us to die from exhaustion and leave holes in our pockets. gonna try and learn hold you heart by letter kills . That song sucks cos it reminds me of you and that makes me just feel sick inside cos i can't have you. Thats not fair la. you only like the sausage lips. whatever la.
_just me_
6:29 AM
